What's Wrong With Being Camp?

Well? I'm fed up of people saying 'Oh, that's so camp' in a really derogatory fashion, just like someone will accuse you of being 'so gay'. So what? I AM gay. Last time I checked I was fucking something with a penis. Whether it was human or not is another matter...

Anyway, aside from my perversions, I'm not talking about Graham Norton or Julian Clary with their limp-wristed poofery, flopping around and saying glaringly obvious innuendos like 'I'll fill you in later' or 'Ooo, look at the lallies on that homie" or WHATEVER! I'm not talking about wearing tight t-shirts and wandering into G-A-Y bar toilets with a £50 note shoved up your nose and doing a line whilst trying to have group sex with 5 other guys. I'm not even talking about those screeching (God bless 'em) queens that are so false and crass with their sexual one upmanship.

NO!

I'm talking about just being a bit fey. Now, God knows I'm not the namby-pambiest fairy on the block. I still have stock in the straight market and have been chatted up by girls occasionally! But, then again, I am not Butchy McButch of Butchton, Butchville. People sometimes guess I'm gay (and, Christ, it saves me telling them) and I have been known to put on that shirt that hugs my waist a little more (I mean, Jesus, are men's clothes designed to make everyone look like non-descript fatties?), but what the hell is wrong with that?

And what's wrong with those non-scene guys? "I'm non-scene." Well, here's news for all you guys; you're so fucking non-scene you've just become a gay scene in yourselves. So why not spend your life avoiding going to gay bars, because we sure as hell don't want to see you in there. And while you're at it, you might want to repress any other sexual desires you have. If you want to aspire to be some lager-swilling, tits-loving guy who waivers between something that crawled out of the primordial ooze and neanderthals then go ahead.

And, let's face it, there is some camp that is completely falsified behaviour. Maybe that's what we hate. But some guys are just... Well... Camp. And some guys are just... Gay.

I have to say I'm not really attracted to the Kylie-loving guys amongst us, but give them their space. And if you don't like it, don't look. Don't criticise! If you think you're so goddam perfect then just remember; straight mates doesn't equal dates.

So this is the first round for gay fascist crime number one; I don't like camp guys. Ask yourself, what do you mean? I don't like camp behaviour or I don't like people who are openly gay? Because you have to think, if it's the latter, then it's because they're displaying a quality you hate in yourself.