A gay indie boy living in suburban South West London recounts his trials and tribulations dealing with sex, sexuality, growing up and getting older

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Simple and Uncomplicated

I think it's a real shame that a lot of my very intelligent, very handsome and/ or very pretty friends (both male and female) are often left on the shelf, and in moments of despair will say "Why doesn't anyone like me?"

It's a shame, but the main reason is this; most people like things to be simple and uncomplicated.

If you take a look around, 90% of people are quite boring. No, really. No, really! I might be saying this from the point of view of some kind of counter-culture, but I'm constantly amazed how two people with seemingly nothing in common get together and muddle their way through a relationship. What's even worse is some people's mantra that "Everything can be talked out." No; not everything can be talked out; some people just weren't meant to be together.

I also can't help but think they're settling. But it's so common.

The reason why this happens is because their view of relationships is one that is fairly skewed, but is fairly functional. Relationships to them are having sex with someone you like. And their predictable view of relationships goes like this:-

Meet---> Have sex----> Enter relationship -----> Argue -----> stay together -----> repeat -----> Marriage.

And for them the chain can be broken at any time, but if it isn't, then it will predictably go on to the next stage. And why do so many people do this? Because so many people are just plain ordinary. And so it's easier for them to find a successful relationship because when two ordinary people get together, they can have a successfully ordinary life, with a predictable outcome and average expectancies.

For those of us who have a little intelligence, eccentricity, insight and attractiveness, it's a little bit harder to find that perfect person. Because to realise that you could never settle for 'ordinary' complicates things for everyone.


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