New Year, New You?

Well having picked myself up off the floor over the New Year, 2008 started with a great big bang that gave me enough determination to carry on with the rest of the year. Within 4 days I had an interview for a much needed new job and I got laid by someone very new for the first time in (*hacks a cough over hsi own words*).

Which, you know, was nice.

I'd like to note I said "someone new". I haven't been celibate :p

And he gave me his number, and we're going on a date on Thursday.

So for all my infinite wisdom, I hate the fact that we always return to familiar ground; the "does he, doesn't he" dilemma. The signs are positive; I text him saying I had a great night. He text straight back saying he did too and he'd see me sometime for dinner, ending it with a "take care." Okay, back off, I think and I'll wait till I ask him for a date to text next. Two days later I say "So would you like to meet me before work one evening?" (working nights is a pain in the arse, sometimes). Again, text in 5 minutes "Sounds great. How about Thursday? Let me know what time." Again, punctuated with the eponymous "Take care". So now I'm wondering if I text him back a time or should I just "take care"?

I text him a time. He said "Perfect. See you soon"

I'm confused. We have a time, a day... But I have no idea where we're going or what we're doing, and I'm too scared to text because I should apparently be taking care of myself right now. Worse still, he's absolutely gorgeous. Really. I mean, I don't think I've ever laid someone as inarguably gorgeous as him. The kind of gorgeous where people wouldn't say "I don't know; he's not really my type" but more the kind of "Oh my God, just stick your penis inside me" type gorgeous.

So I'm even more confused; I left my ex because I thought I could do better and when I do I feel like I don't deserve it. I was quite happy to let it be a lucky one night stand, but it was him who asked me for my number and now I'm just in a sea of unfamiliarity.

However, the great thing about being a bit older and a bit wiser is that you learn to ride the rollercoaster and not stress so much about the details. But here we are... It all starts again: The Game. But I don't know who's playing it more; him or me?

I guess I feel in the weaker position again. Analysing every detail, wondering if he would have asked me out if I hadn't asked him, does he still have his eye on other guys, or is he thinking that this could work?

All this and not even a first date. I need some valium.