A gay indie boy living in suburban South West London recounts his trials and tribulations dealing with sex, sexuality, growing up and getting older

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"Let's just be friends"

So you go out for a few drinks, you know the silences are bordering on awkward, but you limp on hopelessly anyway... I mean, he's been screwing you for a couple of weeks now and you might as well see if you can get another shag out of him. So everything's going well, you walk to the tube station and he says "I'm going home". Okay... "Alone".... Right I can see what's coming

"Okay then," you say. I mean, you're a big boy now. What's another failed dating experience but something to... I dunno... Write a blog about maybe? Or another amusing anecdote at a party?

"I'm sorry"

"It's fine"

"It's just-"

"It's fine. Really."

And after a long silence you take it upon yourself to say "We both knew it wasn't going anywhere anyway". True, I suppose.

And then they say "I hope we can still be friends"

NO! We can't still fucking be friends, okay? Well, thanks for rejecting me but here's the consolation prize... You know; what we had before WITHOUT THE SEX. Well, thanks a lot. Cheers. No, really... I like being at a bar, sitting at a table and thinking "Hmmm.... I've fucked everyone at this table. I'm so glad we can all still be friends. You know, because this is a friendly awkward silence we're all having."

Yes, let's forget those friends, you know the real ones, who have stuck around time after time. I think I'd rather go out and not have fun with you, you stupid fuck.

You know, you were never the most important thing in my life, so I really don't feel the need to keep in touch. It wasn't the most monumental 3 weeks of my life, and somehow I think I'll get over it without having you as a 'friend' to counsel me through it.

AND NOOOO!!!! I will not fucking say we can be friends just so you don't feel so bad about dumping me, and I don't have to try anymore or make an effort when I do see you because that's it. IT'S OVER!

So, let's not be friends. Let's be civil, but let's call it quits and walk away from a half baked travesty

Monday, November 13, 2006

Pop: A Breeding Ground of Repression

They say that boy bands are designed for teenage girls and gay men. Well, kind of figures when they can both scream as loudly as each other. But you have to wonder why it takes so long for people in boy bands to come out. I mean, it's no big surprise when the gay one comes out. For months everyone points at the line up and says; the singer, the rough one, the bad boy, the one no one cares about, the good looking one, and the gay one.

This is the tried and tested formula of the 5 piece boy band.

What amazes me, though, is the amount of gay boy band members who are together. Mark Feelihy (Westlife) and Kevin McDaid (V), Stephen Gateley (Boyzone) came out when he was dating Eloy de Jong (Dutch band called 'Caught in the Act'. No laughing at the back, please). It kind of reminds me of those vapid teenage relationships you have. You know... You're young and confused, someone else kind of feels the same, you both breathe oxygen and this seems to be more than enough to go on for a life affirming relationship. Mainly, I think it's because they both have to repress it so long they take it out on each other.

And who says that coming out is the death of your career? Stephen had loads of hits afterwards like 'New Beginning' and that other one he did... Yeah... But the 'New Beginning' was kind of like 'I'm so gay, I bet I think this song is about me'.

So being gay in pop? Bad idea. Mainly because the kind of people who listen to pop are brainless teenage chavs who say gay to mean something bad or negative. Oh, and gay men who mainly like divas like Kylie and Madonna.